And also a day or two where I was totally uninspired and had nothing of relevance to say.
Mostly it has been the latter.
Day 14: One thing you're excited for
Day 15: Your family
Day 16: Something you're nervous about
This year I have made a true conscious effort to find that excitement I have been missing. It started with a shopping trip to Home Goods with my best friend, in which I was forced to purchase Christmas cat hand towels.
It's the little things sometimes.
I am looking forward to both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. One could say I was almost even excited about it.
My (Stacey) Family Thanksgiving is early in the day next Thursday, and I am certainly excited for that; we only have that every other year, and I miss it every "off" year. It's such chaos - loud, a million people, tons of kids running around, loud crazy Bingo games with terrible prizes. It's a few hours where my whole family is together, laughing and enjoying each other's company. I love it, it's my favorite holiday tradition.
I am also spending Thanksgiving afternoon/evening with my best friend and her family, which I love and have done for a few years now - long enough that I am actually assigned to the food list this year. With it this year comes a new level of excitement, and also some nerves. It's not at Rachel's house, where it always is, but instead at her in-law's house - for some reason, this is making me a little nervous. I like familiarity in my life; I like to know where I am and where I'm going. I'm also just a little nervous about the recent changes in my dynamic in this family, and how that will play out over the course of a holiday.
But I am embracing it. All of it, in fact.
Nervous doesn't mean bad; I have definitely learned this lesson recently - nervous is not a bad thing. Nerves simply mean I'm feeling my genuine feelings. Nervous because I'm happy, nervous because things are different, nervous because I'm nervous.
I'm also actually, for the first time in several years, feeling a bit excited about Christmas. I have even started my Christmas shopping - the last few years I've been all Amazon-at-the-last-possible-second. I helped my mom get out all of her Santa collection last week, and she gave me a tote full of them - and I have every intention of actually getting a baby tree and decorating my apartment.
I know. Seriously though.
I don't know yet what this Christmas will look like for me or how exactly it'll play out. I do know that Stacey Christmas is the Sunday before, and it's one of my favorite days even when I'm not in the Christmas mood. I know that I will see my grandma at some point during the day, whether that be at church or at my aunt's house, or even both - who really knows. I know I'll eat bacon and eggs for breakfast at my mom and dad's, and then we'll do Santa presents. I don't know what else I'll do, but I'm feeling good about it either way.