Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Because Girls Are Bitches, That's Why

Truth be told, I don't really like very many girls. And it has nothing to do with jealousy, like everyone likes to say it does. I don't like girls because I disagree with the "values" upheld by so many of them - the values that allow them to be dependant, whiny little bitches who do nothing but spend their husband's money on expensive purses and clothes while the rest of us work our asses off in an effort to prove women can take care of themselves.

Don't worry, this rant is not a feminist manifesto on why I don't need a man and why I can do my own shit and take care of myself with no help whatsoever. That's just simply not true. I am not so hardheaded and anti-man that I can't admit that I am afraid of spiders and want a guy to kill them for me, nor am I denying the fact that I like to be treated to dinner and a movie as much as the next girl. I can't build furniture by myself, I don't own a ladder, I prefer camping with a strong boy to protect me, and I admittedly can't BBQ my own chicken. I like guys. I like to be swooned. I like to be taken care of and swept off my feet just as much as the next girl. So don't think I am on a soap box about men sucking the life out of women. I'm not. I'm on a soap box about bitches who can't lift a finger or walk in a straight line without a guy to help her up or steer her in the right direction...you know the type. Hopefully you're not one of these women (though if you are we are likely not friends and therefore you are probably not reading this).

Also, don't get me wrong. If you are a stay-at-home mom, more power to you. It is a long, hard, thankless job that I would never want, but I completely understand those who do. And I appreciate so much hearing moms who are there and present with their kids. Stay at home parents are not my rant. I want that to be clear so I am not offending an entire group of people on accident. I am truly only attemping to offend those dumb bitches who just want to be taken care of. Also, if you're in a single-income relationship, you are not necessarily my problem either. Do you stay home because you like to, because you enjoy it and it works for you and your partner? Great! I'm not judging. I'll do me and you do you, that's all dandy. You are only my issue if you feel somehow that I am throwing my life away because I am single and choose to have a job.

This blog came to be after I was recently asked (after 30 days of way too much work, 2 months of way too much work stress, and simultaneously a couple weeks of being really proud of myself at work), "Don't you hate working soooooo much? You're, like, always working...don't you want to get married so you can work less?"

Uhhh, first of all, person who asks fucked up questions, fuck you.

Second, no, I don't wish I was married so I could work less. I work my ass off because I am a strong, capable, motivated individual, not because I am just waiting around for the first guy I see to come sweep me off my feet so I can stay home and pop kids out of my vagina. If I was working to meet a man, I'd work a lot less than I do now. I wouldn't be invested. I wouldn't work overtime. And I certainly wouldn't work in an industry where women dominate. I'd work at a gym. Or at a bar, depending on what kinda guy I was attempting to win over.

I'm not trying to convince anyone that I love to work. I mean really, no one loves to work. We all work because we have to. I work hard so I can pay rent, I work extra hard so I can take the occassional vacation. At no point have I thought, man I wish I had a husband so I could go to Vegas. No, instead I picked up a week of overtime so I could book my own flight and planned my trip!

Seriously the sense of entitlement to a man's income from so many women out there just makes me sick. Earn your own fucking money. He's working for his, do you really think he wants to buy you a $500 purse with his paycheck? I promise you, he doesn't. He wants you to learn the value of a dollar. He wants you to be a smart woman, not a dipshit. He wants a partner, not a dependant.

I am not pursuing my career simply to walk away from it if I ever meet a guy who doesn't have a wife or a secret girlfriend he's hiding from me (as they apparently all do). I am pursuing a career because I want to work. And again, I am not intending to berate a group of women who choose to stay home and raise families, or stay home just because. By all means, do what works for your life. But just like I accept that you stay home, accept (in a nonjudgmental way) that I choose to work and support myself.

And don't ever fucking ask me, "aren't you excited to get married so you can quit your job?!?" unless you want me to knock your fucking head off.