Day two of thirty: A Freedom You Have
Not everyone is able to take 18 weeks off work without pay.
In fact, most people are not able to take 18 weeks off work without pay.
And in all reality, I should probably not have taken 18 weeks off work without pay.
But I did.
Because I could.
And because I wanted to.
And because my parents were able to help me do so.
I think what it boiled down to, was that I was able to pay my rent and car payment in advance and save up some money in the months leading up to my maternity leave, so that Matt only had to earn enough with his summer gig to pay for our more minor expenses - groceries, cell phones, etc. And I knew ahead of time that as long as I could save that extra, pay ahead on rent, and be smart with saving what I could ahead of time, that I would be free to take an extended maternity leave and not have to go back to work the very moment I could roll my mangled body out of bed.
My maternity leave was not free.
It wasn't paid.
In fact, we just did the math - before insurance, if we include the absence of income, it cost well over $50,000 to carry and deliver Grant, and then for me to stay home until October.
Was it difficult? Oh yes, very.
Was it worth it? Oh yes, very.
We will take two years to fiscally recover from my four-month "vacation" as someone called it today. Two years. To recover our savings, pay back my parents, and see my gross income and taxes back to "normal."
And yet, it was worth every hardship to come, to spend those 18 weeks at home with my new baby.
I have watched far too many of my friends go back to work only six weeks postpartum. Six weeks?! At six weeks, I could literally barely walk to the mailbox, let alone come back to work. At six weeks, Grant was still snuggling through every nap, eating every five seconds, peeing through diapers in between each of those five seconds. More importantly, he was still making a new sound, a new movement, a new face, every time I looked at him. And my hormones were OUT. OF. CONTROL. I could never have just missed one of his new noises; I'd have likely died.
Six weeks is not even remotely enough time to heal - physically or hormone-wise - and go back to an office 40-50 hours a week. I can't even imagine. I had a hard time coming back at 18 weeks.
But six weeks is the sad reality in America, because our employers don't pay for our time off to bond with our babies. The second your vagina is sort of back in place, they want you back at a desk. It took a lot of planning, scrimping, and compulsive list-making for Matt and I to get a plan in place so I could take the time off. It was certainly not "free" by any stretch. But today, my heart is definitely thankful for the freedom to take an extended leave, so I could be home to adventure with my nugget.
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