Friday, March 7, 2014

Stop Shitting on My Sunshine

I can no longer handle the amount of negativity around me. I can't. So for real, shut the fuck up.

I realize that starting a blog meant to be about being positive with the phrase, shut the fuck up, is ironic, but I don't care. I just want everyone in my life reading this post to know I am serious. I cannot handle anymore negativity in my life.

Fucking smile. I bet that will help. Take some vitamin D. Get a new tattoo or pierce something. Go tanning. Go on vacation. Have sex. Get a puppy. Or a goldfish. Come sit on my sofa and watch Juno hunt squirrels from this side of the patio's a fucking riot.

I don't care how you do it, but figure it out. Figure out a way to be positive. Figure out how to answer, "how are you" with a positive spin, or expect me to stop asking.

This might seem to be coming from a bit out of left field, but it has been building. The more I listen to people bitch about their lives, the more irritated I get with them, and the more I wonder why I am friends with them in the first place. Oh, nothing good has happened in your life at all, ever? I find that hard to believe. And the level of negativity pouring out of you is making me actually not even care.

It's like the boy who cried wolf. I am, and always have been, a shoulder to cry on for my friends when they have a bad day, when they get dumped or someone in their family is sick, or really when they are just PMS-ing or Hangry. I get it. I have those days. Hell, I have weeks like that. And that's not what I am talking about. Everyone has a bad day, and everyone is entitled to whine about it.


If every word out of your mouth, every time I talk to you, is a big pessimistic saga about how your life is the worst life that has ever happened in the history of's time for you to reevaluate your perspective. It is not that bad. Get over yourself.

This has been coming up more and more with coworkers. Shuuuuuut up. If you hate what you do, get a new job. For real. You are not good at this one anyway. Try something else. No one said you have to have this job for all eternity. Get a new one. Preferably one where you don't have to talk to anyone, ever.

I have friends with some seriously heavy life shit happening right now, and yet they still have days where they post online about the nice weather or the support they feel or the memories they have getting them through their bad days. My girlfriend's bright little star should be three months old this week; her Facebook post have all been about how much love and support she feels right now, how lucky she was to have him growing inside her, how grateful she is for even 5 weeks with her baby - most positive posts on Facebook in weeks, in spite of what could totally be breaking her. It blows my mind. One of my best friends ever has said nothing but positive, upbeat things about her family, her husband, her dog...despite the love of her life having been away from home for over a year, waiting on the government to figure things out. These are girls with some bad shit happening. And yet I see nothing but optimism surrounding them.

Stop complaining to me about things you could change if you weren't so lazy. Change it. Life is too short to be miserable. Your life is too short to be this negative. And my life is too short to get on your level. Man up. Make the changes you need to make. Or don't. If you wanna be miserable, go ahead. But I am no longer listening.

Every night when my mom logs off of Facebook she messages me, "be happy."

And I am. I don't know what your issue is. Maybe you need to get a new apartment or something.