Sunday, April 6, 2014

There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea...But I Wish Some of Them Would Drown

Writing Prompt: Online Dating. Have you done it? How do you feel about it?

I met my last boyfriend online. On, specifically. I think online dating can be a legit way to meet people, to get your feet wet in the relationship pool, and to possibly, maybe eventually actually meet someone you really click with.

That said, there is definite risk - outside of the potential that you are about to encounter a serial killer, of course.

Recently, my counselor gave me a homework assignment to sign back up on Match. Not because I have turned into a hermit or anything, just because I am not making it a priority to meet anyone. And I'm really not. Because right now, I am my priority. My new apartment and making it a home. My job and learning/training/growing. My friends. My family. My health and fitness. I am being incredibly selfish with me "me" time...and that't not a bad thing. But I decided I could probably squeeze in some interaction with guys who want to take me out, and see where things went. We decided that it was a great lesson in how to continue to maintain that even if I am dating someone, or casually dating a few someones, I can still focus on myself and not lose that.

I went on the WORST date, ever, this week. This guy was a cocky ass. He was rude to the server, he was condescending of what I do for a living and how I support myself, and he seemed to be interviewing me much more than conversing with me. Needless to say, we've not spoken since. But what I realized, as I walked the opposite direction as this dude back to my own car to text Rachel and Kattie about what a dick he was, was that I am much stronger than I used to be.

I did not tell this guy I'd call him, nor did I give him any sign that I was interested. I very clearly wasn't. I shook his hand and thanked him for the beer, and made it clear I was parked this way and could walk myself there. Years ago, I would have played some song and dance, or let him walk me to my car, answered the phone if he called again - I would have let him believe he had a chance.

This guy had no chance, and he left knowing that.

I am happy and content, and I know that when it's the best time, I'll meet someone I don't want to punch in the face. And this way, at least I'll have some entertaining stories along the way!