Tuesday, May 6, 2014

You Can Always Choose to be Better

This photo is so fitting for what has taken place in my family recently; specifically the fact that 3 members of my former family continue to stalk my blog as a means to fuel their hate fire.  

Perhaps if you were nicer people, I'd have nicer things to say. 

My emotions are valid; like them or not, agree with them or not, they are what they are. I experience things my way, I am affected in my own way, and I express how I feel in my own way. And since it's not by yelling and screaming, and because I use the word feeling, it scares "them."

After spending the past few months talking these relationships out with a therapist, I am incredibly liberated to be the one who can now sit back and say, I don't care. I am no longer sad, no longer hurt or grieving. But the best part? I am also no longer angry. These people are not my family. They haven't been for a long time, but I can only recently say that without being upset. These people are irrelevant, and it is their problem that they have chosen to stay mad about something petty. That is their deal, not mine. I have chosen to take a much healthier route and let that shit go, but I don't control what other people do. I can only control myself.

I know you're reading this. And I know you'll continue to. And you're welcome to do so. But remember one thing: I will never, ever, censor my feelings for you. I don't care what you say about me, what you think or feel about me. I don't care that you use my posts to try and turn my own grandma against me - even though that does, in fact, validate everything I said about your being evil. (Clearly I wasn't wrong to feel what I felt.)

So to those of you who read my blogs on the regular, because you appreciate my words and support my goals, thank you. I appreciate the regular following, the support, the comments, and the growth my blog continues to see...especially when I am writing about things that I am emotional about, like victim shaming or body image, or even when I cannot find the right words for something. I appreciate the support, so much. 

And for those of you who just read this to keep finding things to be mad at me about...I'll do me, and you do you...happy stalking.