Hashtag, Swoon

Day Three: Five Ways to Win My Heart

Hashtag, Swoon.

I feel like this is a weird one – five seems like a pretty finite number. I mean really, the question of how to win my heart could basically be summed up into one answer: don’t do the things anyone else has ever done to me in a relationship. Elaborating, of course, would lead to the basics of being a decent human being: don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t do hardcore drugs or steal, don’t hit me or call me names. 

Seems relatively simple, I know.

But the question at hand isn’t what not to do. It’s what to do. And I feel like that is a little more complicated, because whatever it is that is necessary to completely win m over, has not yet been quite determined. If I knew the answer, I probably would not have wasted my time on the idiots I have wasted my time on....or at least one would hope not.

What I do know, though, is that everything happens for a reason – every relationship in my past (even the reeeeeally bad ones) served a purpose, and I have definitely learned a lot of valuable lessons. I’ve learned what I want and what I don’t want, what I deserve and what I don’t, what I need and what I don’t. I’ve learned what I will and won’t accept, tolerate, deal with, and ignore, and what I will demand, expect, fight for, stand up to, and chase.

But I agreed to this daily blog challenge, right? So with that, here’s my attempt at identifying five ways to win my heart.

One. Be funny. Which seems obvious. I like people who can make me laugh, in general. Someone who can make me laugh when I’m mad, seems like a good person to have in my corner. Someone who really “gets me” is going to know that the best way to end a night with me, is staying up too late because everything he says makes me giggle.

Two. Be passionate. About life, about me, about your favorite music or movies. Just about something. Part of why I like to celebrate birthdays so much is that I think it’s important to be passionate and grateful for your existence on the planet – nothing in life is guaranteed except for the moment we’re in, so enjoy those moments as they come. Also, I don’t feel my feelings half-assed; I feel them passionately. And I’m attracted to people who ignite that, as opposed to finding it intimidating or cringe-worthy. Let me be me. You be you. And be passionate about both of those people. Passion makes things exciting, makes me happy, and also, feeds my security - which can be challenging, since I definitely have some "relationship insecurities" (if that's a thing). 

Three: Be nice. Also seems fairly obvious. I think that everyone's "nice guys finish last" shit is absolute crap - I am only interested in people who are nice to me. The same as how I only want to have friends who are nice to me. Hard pass on that mean girl bull shit. I've been through my bad boy stage, and I'm most definitely over it. Women who still like bad boys, just haven't been with a nice one yet. And by all means, be "bad" in all other aspects of life - what matters to me is that at the end of the day, you'll cuddle with me on the couch, ask how my day was, and show some genuine interest in my conversation.  

Four. Be genuine. Again this seems to be a pretty basic human requirement. Don't be a lying sack of shit. Duh. Don't tell me things that aren't true. Duh. Don't lie to me. Duh. Be honest. Duh. But on top of that, be genuine and sincere - tell me how you feel and what you think. I think people who are genuine and who can communicate the things rolling around in their head, are the best kind of people. 

Five. Be a little dirty. Because clearly, I'll be won over by someone who can treat me well and turn me on all at the same time. In fact, ignore the other four - this is the actual way to win my heart: be nice to me and also be a little dirty.