Saturday, January 10, 2015

Cocaine and Gang Bangs

If you don't already know from prior posts, I work in property management. It's hard. It's emotionally taxing and on some days, physically draining. I currently manage a very demanding building, where I am yelled at daily, cursed at often, and treated very poorly by the people who live here. It's hard. And I've only been here 90 days. In that 90 days I have worked a lot of overtime. A lot. Most of it unpaid, and much of it late at night or on the weekends. So when I managed to get a five-day weekend over Christmas, I was overjoyed. Thank you, calendar, for letting Christmas fall on a Thursday this year!


I took Wednesday through Sunday off for the holiday, and was so glad I did. I spent Wednesday cleaning my much-neglected apartment and rearranging some furniture, mixed with some lounging on the couch and watching movies. I also had my parents and my brother over to have mimosas & snacks and to watch It's a Wonderful Life - that was a lot of fun and very relaxing end to the day. Christmas morning I got up and headed out to my parents, where we did Christmas gifts and breakfast, and then I hit the road for a 4 day vacation in Bend with my best friend. My cousin lives in Bend but was in Portland for the week, so she let us stay at her house, which was ideal and ended up being just awesome!

While in Bend, we were sure to get out of our element and try new things (not cocaine or gang bangs, despite the title of this blog post). Something I have been working on in therapy is branching out of my comfort zone, and part of my goals list for 2015 is to try something new every month this year. Keeping with that, we tried several new, amazing restaurants, slept in late, ate breakfast at noon (or later), and spent a very late night bar hopping with some great guys I went to high school with. We ate greasy bar nachos, did tequila shots and drank cheap beers. All very unlike us, and all very fun. It was a much needed weekend of having nothing to do, no firm plans, no obligations; and it was a reminder that it's okay for the obsessive-compulsive planner in me to just go with the flow and not make a single plan, believing that fun would be had regardless.

And fun was had - all weekend long - despite having not made any plans in advance.


All my life, I have been a planner. I have always worked hard and been responsible. I have always done the same things for holidays, and have always felt guilty when I had to miss things. In looking for ways to make the holidays more enjoyable, I was able to spend some time with my family - both immediate and extended - and still get to spend a long weekend doing what I wanted as well. For the first time in a long time, I felt balance and the holidays felt good. And I didn't have to completely withdraw from my family to feel that either; I was still able to do the lights at Peacock Lane (though let's be honest, that was kind of a fail), got to watch all the Stacey babies open presents, watched classic movies with my mom & dad, and took an obligatory Christmas morning selfie with my brother. At no part of the holiday season did I feel rushed or pressured, I just got to have fun with my family and with my friends.

Spending a long weekend in Bend was relaxing, enjoyable, fun, and a step out of my comfort zone, and I can't wait to go back!

And speaking of stepping out of my comfort zone, I had another long weekend the following week for the New Year holiday, and I took it upon myself to continue the momentum into that weekend as well. I went out on New Years Eve, got drunk, took shots, and danced with a stranger. I stayed out late and slept in late, and I ended the weekend by attending my first Winterhawks hockey game after being given box tickets from a vendor at work. I had a great weekend - even with the hangover - and was so glad I allowed myself to stay out of the office for two long weekends in a row.

Even though my job is hard, and even though it is demanding, I am learning that I am still only required to give it 40 hours of my time each week, and that I am still going to succeed if I leave my to-do list incomplete sometimes. It's the nature of the beast. I don't get paid enough to work off the clock, and I have to let myself have fun on my time off. And for me, weekends away from home, trying something new, catching up with friends I don't see often enough...those are things that are fun. Life is good, and things are exciting...I mean, they're not cocaine-and-gang-bang exciting, but I'm having a good time!


Happy New Year! Ask yourself, what are you going to do to make the year happy?