Friday, August 22, 2014

#FacingMyFears...Week Two is Through!

Week two of the 21 Day Face Your Fears Challenge is complete! I have done something that scares me every day for the past 14 days...7 days left to go to the finish line!

Day 8: Speak My Truth! I focused this day on saying what was on my mind, whether it was awkward or uncomfortable. I told people how I felt, I expressed a few concerns to my boss, I talked to my family, and I got in a couple of arguments on Facebook over social issues. The thing about speaking your truth, is that it gives you a voice. Don't shy away from that. People should know how you feel about them; if you want to spend all night snuggling them, tell them. If you are mad at them, tell them. If they are crossing a line or straddling a boundary, say that. It is my own responsibility to take care of myself mentally...but I cannot expect people to respect my boundaries if I have not laid them out.

Day 9: Shoot a Gun. This one was so awesome! I am one of the only people in my family who does not own a gun, who does not hunt, and who has actually never even touched a gun. I am not opposed to guns or to hunting, and I do appreciate knowing where my meat comes from when I eat dinner with my family, but I am not a hunter and have no interest in hunting. I do, however, believe that all women should know how to shoot a gun, and I am starting to feel more and more that all women should own a gun. Because despite any political fight I could get into with anyone, a gun is a very powerful thing. My fear of guns stems not from the control or the power they have, or from thinking they are dangerous or scary, but simply from the fact that if faced with one, I would have no idea what to do with it. So with this fear, comes applying for a conceal to carry permit and taking some gun safety classes down the road, but step one was to go out to Brown's Camp with Patrick and Juli, and to actually fire one. I shot a .22 rifle and a 20 gauge shot gun. And I loved it. It was exhilarating and exciting, and definitely a feeling of being in full control over everything around me. There will be more guns in my future, for sure.

Day 10: Get My Ass Back in the Gym. The hardest step to any fitness goal is the first one. That first time in a new gym, or that first class full of strangers who know what they're doing. I took a Zumba class on Monday night and I loved it. It was hard, it was fast, it was hot as balls. But I made it the whole hour without stopping, and I enjoyed it. And once I was there, I remembered that I love Zumba, and that nobody in the class made it through without a mistake. No big deal. As long as you're working hard and sweating, you may as well look like a damn fool doing it. Everyone there has the same goals, and no one there cares what I am doing.

Day 11: Sleep Naked. Read the blog about sleeping naked for more details. Just know that I have slept naked every night since. Because I am fucking hooked on sleeping naked.

Day 12: Get My Photo Taken With a Mascot. This one was pretty silly. I am afraid of mascots - things in costume with whom I cannot make eye contact. So at my company event (a movie in the park), I made sure to have my photo taken with my arm around a person dressed as ET. I hated it. ET is creepy. People in the park in costumes are creepy. But I did it. And it was a good, silly fear to face.

Day 13: Spend Time Alone in the Woods. Yesterday I took a drive through the Gorge, stopped for some views at Crown Point/Vista House, and then did a short, 2/3 mile hike to Bridal Veil Falls. It was quick and easy, with a gorgeous waterfall at the end. But the point wasn't to do some crazy hard strenuous hike; I am not afraid of those. The point was to spend a few hours by myself, off the phone, away from my wifi signal, and just enjoy some time alone. I took some gorgeous photos (but did not check Facebook or email til I got home), sat by the riverbed and listened to the waterfall and some music, and just hung out. It was great! It's a rare thing for me to be disconnected, especially intentionally, and I think it was really good for me.

Day 14: Register for a 5k. I hate running. I suck at it. It makes my knees hurt. I get shin splints. Every minute of it totally blows. But I know how good it is for me, and I have always wanted to run a 5k, just to say I've done it. So today, I registered for the Run Like Hell 5k, Portland's Halloween-themed run for Lupus. I signed up, I donated money, and I am already thinking of what Little Mermaid item I can wear the day of the event. I mean clearly I should run in a seashell top, right? This will be some great motivation for me to keep up with my fitness goals, knowing that I have to run 3 point something miles in just 60 days, and it will get me out of my box, where I just do Zumba and Body Pump because I love them.

With just one more week to go, I am excitedly making lists of fears to face...check back next Friday to see what I come up with for my final seven days!