Sunday, January 5, 2014

I love him because we slow danced to Boys 2 Men...what else is there?

Question: Tell about a lesson you learned in middle school.

Middle School? Isn't the only thing you learn in middle school that you can't wait to get to high school and forget about those awkward two years of life?


In middle school, I learned that you could endure sex ed without having to separate the boys from the girls. I learned that at Rowe Junior High, Mr. Kitchen referred to sex as "salmon fishing," and that at the end of the year, all the super mature boys in class would wish you lots of sunshine and salmon fishing in your yearbook. I leaned that while in 6th grade the boys learned about deodorant and the girls learned about tampons, in junior high, everyone learned about the real deal.

In middle school, I learned that you can, in fact, be in love with a new boy every day. As long as you go home and write in your journal about him so you remember who he is, you can definitely love him. I learned that what a boy is wearing, eating, reading, listening to, who he is eating lunch with or talking to, or what he says, can determine that you do or do not still love him the next day.

In middle school, I learned that you could enjoy a class just because you liked the teacher. I learned that my 8th grade science teacher was a part time taxedermist and that I could get extra credit for hauling a giant frozen dead raccoon into school. I learned that I loved learning genetics and that you could still get an A in class thanks to that dead raccoon without dissecting the worm or the frog in class.

In middle school, I learned that girls are bitches, that it matters what you wear and who you sit by in class, that where your locker is apparently is really important, and that having PE in the middle of the day is the worst thing that could ever happen.

Most of all, I learned that once you get out of middle school, everything you thought was the most important thing in the entire world, really doesn't mean shit. It doesn't really matter where your locker is, who you sit by in homeroom, who you pass notes with in class. You know what matters? That you are a good person, that you're nice to people. That's really it. When you grow up, no one cares what you wore or who your friends were or what electives you took. It doesn't mean shit if you're not a nice person.