Wednesday, January 29, 2014

If Selfie is a real word...why can't horngry be, too?

Horngry: When you are so horny, you get angry. You know, like Hangry, but with sexual frustration instead of with food.

Apparently part of being friends with Rachel includes making up new words. Funny words. Awesome words. Words like horngry, which are just really great. I have had a few pretty crappy days, as my apartment flooded this weekend and my management is not addressing it adequately. I was in a particularly foul mood last night and asked Rachel what I should blog about...

Me: I need to write about something positive, something funny.
Rachel: Write about sex. Cause I'm horngry.

And a new word was immediately born into my vocabulary. I think it will be in the dictionary by 2015...where can I turn that shit into Webster anyway?

Now, for those of you who don't use, or who are not familiar with, the word HANGRY, let's start there. When you get so hungry that you actually express anger, that's hangry. Hungry + Angry = Hangry.

Hanger is something that commonly takes place in my day. I forget to eat breakfast. Often. And then about an hour before I can take lunch, I find myself tense, hot, frustrated, and often yelling. This is not abnormal behavior for me, and my friends accept it because they do the same thing. Sometimes I can feel Rachel's hanger from 5 miles away, and I call her just to tell her to eat some almonds before she talks to another resident. Hanger is a serious issue. And now you have been enlightened. Watch out for a hangry boss, friend, roommate, parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend. People who are experiencing hanger often behave poorly and say things they don't mean. They are sorry, but they can't help it.

So obviously, in the same respect, when you get so "sexually frustrated" that you express anger, you could consider yourself to be HORNGRY. Horny + Angry = Horngry. Perfect.

Unfortunately, when you are single, or when your boyfriend lives out of town, or when you're at work and having sex in your office is frowned upon, hornger is not always as easily cured as hanger. If you're hangry, all you need is a quick snack, a bite to eat, something to increase your blood sugar, and you're good to go. Hornger is not quite as easily quenched. So think ahead. Be prepared. Don't let hornger happen to you.