Shake Your Ass & Celebrate

11 Day Photo Blog Challenge

Day 10: A Picture of You Celebrating

This was such a tough post to pick a photo for - I am at a place in my life where there is so much to celebrate, how do I possibly narrow it down?? I celebrate birthdays, holidays, parties, vacations, promotions...what can I say, I am a party girl! And in contemplating what photos to pick, I decided I wanted to focus on recent celebrations - and what more recent event to write about than this amazing Valentine's Day weekend?!

With as many hours as I work in a day early in the week, I've been getting pretty lucky with three-day weekends lately. I'm not allowed to have overtime at my property, so hitting that 40 hour mark at 10am Friday has made for a lot of Friday afternoons off (no complaints there). This weekend was no different; by the time Thursday and Friday came, I had a lot of time to shave off, so I just worked half days on both days, as opposed to taking all of Friday off. Reason to celebrate number one: extended weekend hours.

Thursday evening, I had dinner, wine, and much-needed long conversations with a handsome fella, after which we watched a movie before I headed home to bed. It had been a long time since we'd seen each other, and it was just what I was after. Reason to celebrate number two: good food made with wine and laughter, followed up with couch snuggling and big hugs goodnight.

Friday afternoon I deep cleaned my apartment, did my laundry, and finally sat down for a chunk of book club homework reading time. Reason to celebrate number three: a good book with no pants and a snuggly blanket in the sunshine. I read several chapters in bed, stopping only to change laundry loads and grab a snack, and enjoyed my book with some new music in the background. Though my intention had been to stay home and in this position all night long, I was tempted out for a beer, some better music on a jukebox, and several more hours of real talk with the aforementioned fella. Talking to him has always felt great, so how was I to say no? Reason to celebrate number four: hearing things you've waited months for, and listening to Ed Sheeran.

Waking up on Saturday morning, after a nice long sleep, I finished cleaning and did a little shopping before my Valentine's date night out with the girls. My friend Amy had invited me out to Dante's in downtown Portland to see none other than Sir Mix a Lot - yea, THE Sir Mix a Lot - in concert with her and a friend of hers. Kattie, Aloura, and I quickly obliged. After confirming we were not on a man-hater, hoes-over-bros type adventure, I invited the fella to join us as well, and was definitely glad he was up for the night out with some ladies. The show was awesome - loud, crazy, and entertaining; I was surprised with how awesome it ended up being, because really how much can you expect from an artist you don't remember hearing from in the past ten years? But he proved me wrong. He. Was. The Shit. Reason to celebrate number five: Dancing, drinking, booty-shaking, laughing, and walking barefoot back to the car after eating gyros from a food cart.

Sunday morning, after getting Aloura out the door to work (the poor girl), I cooked breakfast, then spent the afternoon shopping and running errands, and just enjoying the sunny day with my truck windows down and the music turned up loud. I felt a sense of satisfaction that I haven't felt in a while; I felt like I had just spent an entire long weekend surrounded by people who make my life more fun, who make my world a better place to be. I felt like I got some answers to some things that have really been bothering me. I felt hopeful and a little excited, and I felt confused but comfortable with my confusion. It was an afternoon spent, just me, enjoying the fact that I have a life worth celebrating, with people there worthy of celebration. Reason to celebrate number six: real talk, loud music, love, and joy.

And what's better to celebrate than a weekend like this one? I mean other than knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes. #celebratethat!

You Can Go Step on a Lego

11 Day Photo Blog Challenge

Day 5: A Picture of Something You Hate

Things I hate: People who stand too close to me in the grocery store line. Mushrooms. Monkeys. People who tell me I will regret not having children. People who ask me why I'm not married yet - specifically those who ask in a condescending manner. People who are rude to servers or who tip shitty. Slow drivers. Getting car sick. Carrots. Cake. Pie. Rush hour traffic. Talking about my feelings. Speaking in public. Being on the phone with Comcast. Losing control. Crying in front of boys. Tire swings. Homework. Getting yelled at. Blinds dates. Pork chops. Burns. The dentist. Violent films. Baby vomit. Cat vomit. Most anyone's vomit, really. Dogs.

Now that that's done...

More than any other trivial thing I hate, I hate being lied to. And I hate having my heart broken. I especially hate when these two things happen to coincide. Individually, they suck. Together, they're a disaster.

I hate being lied to because when I believe a lie or fall for some bull shit, inevitably I end up feeling like an idiot. And I hate feeling like an idiot. I know I shouldn't. You're the one who lied to me, why am I feeling bad over it? It's not my responsibility to think everyone is out there lying to me all the time, nor is it up to me to second guess everything anyone says to me. The thing is, I am a very trusting person; and I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's actually a pretty good thing - especially considering some events in my past - that I am able to look at someone new and see no reason not to buy into the things they're saying to me. People who think everyone is a liar, are annoying. They tend to be bitter and unloving, and are certainly unable to be happy and secure in a relationship. So, as I said, I believe that my ability and willingness to give people my complete faith, is more positive than negative.

And yet, when that trust is broken, I tend to feel very stupid, like I somehow should have known better. And that's annoying in itself. It is not up to me to know better; it is not up to me to doubt you or lack faith in you. It is my job to trust that your intentions are honorable, and that you have not set out to hurt me.

Point being: Do not fucking lie to me. Whether you are my friend, my boyfriend, my family, or my coworker. Just don't do it.

I think the only thing worse than being lied to, is having a broken heart. I honestly hate the feeling of heartache. And until fairly recently, I didn't even realize the extent in which a heart could actually feel pain. You all surely know the feeling...the wave of intense pressure on your chest cavity, the sting of tears behind your eyes, that feeling where you can't take too deep of a breath, to where you just can't get enough oxygen. It sucks. Having someone break your heart is the absolute most shitty feeling in the world. I don't wish a broken heart on anyone, ever - even people I don't like (because I don't need that kind of shitty karma).

Heartache is one of those things that is both physically and emotionally painful. It's right up there with jealousy - which I also hate, by the way - where you feel the feeling physically and then you also feel it-feel it. I can't say much else other than it really just fucking sucks, and I really fucking hate it.

The thing about having someone break your heart, is it's the very worst when it wasn't their intention. Like, if someone is mean to me, or they cheat on me, or they shove me into a wall, that's intentional. You did that shit on purpose. It hurt because I trusted you. It hurt because I thought you cared about me. It hurt because you clearly don't. But the worst is when it wasn't on purpose. When you still care about me, and when I don't see it coming. Unexpected, unintentional, wanna-be-your-friend-still-because-I-think-you're-amazing heartbreak is the most painful shit ever. It's hard. How do you be friends with someone who both stole your heart and broke it? Without a little time, a little grief, and - let's be real - a little therapy, you just don't. It's too hard.

Have I mentioned I hate being heart broken?

In all seriousness, there are really no worse feelings than being lied to and having your heart stomped on. These are definitely two things I hate, more than anything else.

That said, in honor of the holiday, I also do, mutha-fucking hate Valentine's Day. Not because I'm single and bitter (yes, I'm single, no I'm not bitter), but because it's a day of expectations and so often a day of unnecessary disappointment. People expect gifts and flowers and lovey-dovey nonsense on Valentine's Day. Well guess what. If your partner doesn't do lovey-dovey all year long, you're about to get your hopes up for nothing, because you're going to be disappointed when he, on yet another day of the year with you, doesn't shower you with nonsense. And if you're one of the lucky ones who was able to snag one of the few who does tend to shower nonsense all year long, then Valentine's Day really is just another day of the year with you. Congratulations, don't let that one get away from you.

So, there's all that.
A day of things I hate.
Coulda been a legit downer of a blog post for sure...