Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Oh you want another chance? Sorry, I'm all out of those

Question: What's something you feel strongly about?

I'm a Whitmore, I feel strongly about everything.

I am my dad's daughter. I don't have mild opinions or thoughts, nor are my feelings usually moderate. If I have an opinion on something, it is a strong opinion - that's just how I am genetically put together. I don't tend to have a "meh, whatever" take on things. I believe strongly. I jump into things with both feet, I don't test the waters first. I fall hard, I love hard, and I hurt hard.

To answer the question, one thing I feel strongly about - especially lately - is that sometimes, people do deserve another chance. And I feel equally as strongly that sometimes, they just don't.

Not everyone deserves another chance after they hurt you. There are people in my life who have continued to repeat hurtful behaviors, who have continuously said or done things that have caused me pain or have broken my heart. People don't always deserve forgiveness. That's my strong opinion.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, are the people who have hurt you, or have hurt your family, or who have simply vanished from your world, who come back in with a genuine effort, or a sincere apology, and these people - in my strong opinion - deserve to be forgiven.

More often than not, I do think that most people deserve another chance after they've hurt you. But not always. Not if they aren't sorry, or if they aren't sincere or genuine. Not if they continue the same hurtful behavior of if they don't learn from their mistake.

People come in and out of your life for a reason. At this point, I've learned to try to embrace that. When someone who has always been a part of your life is suddenly gone, it hurts. But they aren't always worth giving another chance when they show back up. When someone who used to be there and has been gone for years does come back, it can be a blessing. Whatever the case may be, second chances are earned, not guaranteed.

Something I strongly believe in? Making the right decisions based on how you feel. Being honest with your feelings and trusting your heart. Being open, letting people in, even sometimes after they've hurt you. I believe in being vulnerable with my heart, being less cautious and more willing to take risks. In playing with fire. In taking a flying leap. In jumping feet first. And most importantly, in being honest with myself.