Only 39 Days Until Christmas. But Who's Counting?

I would say I am literally failing at this blog challenge, except that I am still on track to have covered all 30 topics in 30 days - I just technically am also covering multiple topics each day...because there have definitely been some days this month where I just do not have time to sit down and write a post.

And also a day or two where I was totally uninspired and had nothing of relevance to say.

Mostly it has been the latter.

Day 14: One thing you're excited for

Day 15: Your family

Day 16: Something you're nervous about

The past few years, I have lacked in holiday excitement. Just not feeling it. Things with my family were not great and therefore a lot of my beloved traditions were changing - or not happening in any capacity. I was learning how to live alone and navigate budgeting myself to live and eat while paying $1100 a month in Portland area rents, so the added holiday expenses were stressful, and I just struggled to get into the holiday mindset.

This year I have made a true conscious effort to find that excitement I have been missing. It started with a shopping trip to Home Goods with my best friend, in which I was forced to purchase Christmas cat hand towels.

It's the little things sometimes.

I am looking forward to both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. One could say I was almost even excited about it.

My (Stacey) Family Thanksgiving is early in the day next Thursday, and I am certainly excited for that; we only have that every other year, and I miss it every "off" year. It's such chaos - loud, a million people, tons of kids running around, loud crazy Bingo games with terrible prizes. It's a few hours where my whole family is together, laughing and enjoying each other's company. I love it, it's my favorite holiday tradition.

I am also spending Thanksgiving afternoon/evening with my best friend and her family, which I love and have done for a few years now - long enough that I am actually assigned to the food list this year. With it this year comes a new level of excitement, and also some nerves. It's not at Rachel's house, where it always is, but instead at her in-law's house - for some reason, this is making me a little nervous. I like familiarity in my life; I like to know where I am and where I'm going. I'm also just a little nervous about the recent changes in my dynamic in this family, and how that will play out over the course of a holiday.

But I am embracing it. All of it, in fact.

Nervous doesn't mean bad; I have definitely learned this lesson recently - nervous is not a bad thing. Nerves simply mean I'm feeling my genuine feelings. Nervous because I'm happy, nervous because things are different, nervous because I'm nervous.

I'm also actually, for the first time in several years, feeling a bit excited about Christmas. I have even started my Christmas shopping - the last few years I've been all Amazon-at-the-last-possible-second. I helped my mom get out all of her Santa collection last week, and she gave me a tote full of them - and I have every intention of actually getting a baby tree and decorating my apartment.

WHAT?!?!

I know. Seriously though.

I don't know yet what this Christmas will look like for me or how exactly it'll play out. I do know that Stacey Christmas is the Sunday before, and it's one of my favorite days even when I'm not in the Christmas mood. I know that I will see my grandma at some point during the day, whether that be at church or at my aunt's house, or even both - who really knows. I know I'll eat bacon and eggs for breakfast at my mom and dad's, and then we'll do Santa presents. I don't know what else I'll do, but I'm feeling good about it either way.