Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Don't call me a cow, or I won't give you the milk.

Today's topic: What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

Well...I don't really have any spiritual beliefs, which allows me to act a bit slutty without any concern that I'm going to hell.

End blog.


To be fair, I was raised in a Catholic church and even went to a Catholic high school, where we prayed every morning, went to services, took Religion classes every semester, and where I learned that I do not, in fact, believe in most anything taught by the Catholic church. While many of my classmates were studying the Bible in class, I was passing notes to boys. Or about boys. On Sundays, when a lot of students were at church, I was sleeping off the tequila and orange juice I drank on Saturday night. Don't get me wrong, I was a good student. But I was also the one who debated, instead of obeyed, my Relgious Studies teacher. Mostly because I wanted to be a teenage ass hole, but also because I didn't buy into the brainwashing.

In high school, it was wrong to question. Teachers got mad if we asked why or how something had happened or was possible. Our sex ed class consisted of the "do not have sex or you will die" agenda. We were expected to be against abortion, to be virgins, to be complacent. We were told what to do and how to think, and to question it was inappropriate. My parents, thankfully, have always encouraged me to question, debate, educate, and make my own decisions. And trust me when I say, I deeply appreciate that.

From the ripe old age of 16, I have taken birth control pills. I am not a virgin. I do not have a husband. I am very liberal. I am also very, very pro-choice. I enjoy sex for purposes other than procreation. I *gasp* masturbate and don't worry about being damned for it. I think teenagers should have access to condoms in school. I do not believe in abstinence-only education, but rather in sex education. Plus, church is boring.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I do not believe in God. It is more of an agnostic point of view, where I'm unsure of what my beliefs really are. Do I believe in God? I don't really know. Do I practice organized religion? No, most definitely not. Do I pray? Nope. Do I worship the devil? No, not usually. If I were ever to set foot in church again, it would certainly not be a Catholic one, much to my grandmother's dismay. I won't get married in a Catholic church. Or in any other church most likely either. I occassionally worry that a church will ignite should I ever enter one, but that hasn't happened yet, so that's good. But in all seriousness, I just don't have a firm belief in anything specific, and while I can understand and appreciate those of you who do, I also expect you to understand and appreciate that I do not.

I have never really thought that my beliefs - or lack thereof - would play any sort of role in my relationships, but the reality is, I wouldn't get far in a relationship with someone who didn't want to have sex with me, who wanted me to attend a church service, or who was pro-life. The reality is, there are some things that are huge issues, and until you're more adult, looking for someone to spend a life with as opposed to a month with, they maybe don't matter. When I was in my early 20's, I didn't give a shit if a guy I was dating was anti-abortion or believed in Heaven and the ways you get there, because I wasn't looking for a life partner at 20. Now that I am older and I tend to not date guys who don't have any hope for the future, it matters. Because I couldn't spend my life with a man who thought he had any right to an opinion on women's reproductive health. Or a man who wouldn't have sex with me til we got married in a church. Um no, that won't work for me. I prefer to get the milk for free before I buy a cow...or however that incredibly sexist and demorialzing statement goes.

So I guess now that I am older, wiser, looking for an actual long term relationship with some staying power, these things do matter. Whether a man supports a woman's right to choose or not is very important. Someone's ability to understand sex education as an important contributor to our future generation is important. His understanding that if by some accidental force of nature I do end up parenting a child, said child will be raised with ALL of the facts, not just the keep-it-in-your-pants ones. And kids or no kids, there are certain things I believe in that are, by definition, deal breakers.