Wednesday, November 13, 2013

It isn't always in the Grand Gesture

Today's Topic: What fictional character do you identify with and why?

In my recent homelessness, I watched a lot of TV streamed from Netflix on my laptop. A lot. I have watched just shy of the entire series of How I Met Your Mother in the last 30 days (don't give me any secrets, I still have seasons 8 and 9 to finish). And for a great deal of the show, I felt a connection to Ted Mosby.

Ted is a hopeless romantic, and all he wants is for some grand gesture to bring him to the love of his life. He looks at the world through the eyes of someone who wants to be in love and wants to share it with the perfect person, but who is growing more cynical that this person is not out there for him. Ted believes in destiny and in fate, and he wears his heart on his sleeve.

It is true. I am Ted Mosby.

At least Ted Mosby is sexy. If I'm him, at least I can move forward knowing how sexy I am.

Despite my best efforts to hide it under sarcasm and independance, I am a complete and total sap. I believe in the same things Ted Mosby does (with the exception of destiny, I don't buy into that) and I want what he wants. There are days where I wake up and hope for a romantic, knock me on my ass, sweep me off my feet gesture from the man of my dreams. There are days where I feel like everyone around me is happy and in love, and that I am destined to be by myself because only ass hats are attracted to me. There are days where I feel like I give and give and give, where I am completely emotionally open and honest, where I am vulnerable and totally ready...and that no one notices it.

And then reality smacks me in the face, and I remember that love is not about grand gestures. Love is not going to appear out of nowhere and brainwash me. Love is something that takes time. The best relationships grow from friendships. I remember that I don't want a knock me on my ass moment to blind me from reality; I want the person who makes my reality better without blinding me. And I am not in a hurry. In fact, I am not really 100% ready, and until I am, I need to focus on myself, not on someone else. I know that my success in a relationship will come from taking the time to be ready, not from rushing through the important parts.

Ted Mosby is an awesome character. He has heart. He is vulnerable. He is open to love. He believes in it. He takes his past experiences and past heartaches and learns from them, usually. Ted Mosby is open and honest and true to his own heart. He goes after what he wants. He expresses his feelings.

And sometimes, even though he loves the Grand Gesture, he remembers that love is not one grand gesture, but rather a compilation of all the small, sweet, moments. And that's when Ted finds what he spent 9 seasons looking for: the mother of his children, the love of his life.

I am Ted Mosby. I am the hopeless romantic who has fallen in love with all the wrong people so far and still somehow believes in a deep, true, passionate love. I am Ted Mosby. And I am ok with that.